Caroline Moratti 4/26/21 Caroline Moratti 4/26/21

How to do a Yardie:

Yardies are the backbone of a good 21st. There’s nothing quite like drinking 1.4 litres of beer in one go, surrounded by your friends and family. God bless.

Cameron Taylor 4/26/21 Cameron Taylor 4/26/21

ReBurger heading to Palmy

Can the burger store shake off its infamous past?

Caroline Moratti 4/26/21 Caroline Moratti 4/26/21

The Massive Toilet Paper Review

Toilet paper: what separates man from beast. From booze poos to post-sex pissing, toilet paper has always been there in my time of need.

Massive Reporters 4/26/21 Massive Reporters 4/26/21

Sexcapades (vol 8)

Despite being in clear view of literally anyone and everyone, I could see that like a racing horse, him and his stallion was ready to go.

Caroline Moratti 4/26/21 Caroline Moratti 4/26/21

Proposed Scholarship restructuring for Distance students

Neato!

Lia McGuire 4/26/21 Lia McGuire 4/26/21

How to Adult: Stacking the damn dishwasher

Okay kids, I can’t believe I have to make this but here goes… What follows is a comprehensive and somewhat patronising guide on how to stack your damn dishwasher correctly.

Massive Reporters 4/26/21 Massive Reporters 4/26/21

Horoscopes (vol 8)

James Pocock 4/26/21 James Pocock 4/26/21

Massey reviewing free flu shot funding for all students

Nice!

Massive Reporters 4/19/21 Massive Reporters 4/19/21

Sexcapades: Getting Sweaty Abroad

Caroline Moratti 4/19/21 Caroline Moratti 4/19/21

Shock resignations: Distance exec lose half of their exec members

Members resigned due to a “hostile working environment” and “diabolical” email from co-president

Ben Newton 4/19/21 Ben Newton 4/19/21

Artist Profile: DARTZ

DARTZ is a Wellington punk-rock band that serves up student realness, from songs about bath salts to shitty flats and Captain Cook being a “wig-wearing cuck”.

Ari Prakash 4/19/21 Ari Prakash 4/19/21

Browse Café returns...but with Starbucks?

Honestly did not know that Starbucks was served in cafes other than Starbucks, but like, good for them, I guess.

Caroline Moratti 4/19/21 Caroline Moratti 4/19/21

Massey has a gin-making tree on campus, but it’s for “research”.

Do you have a sensitive nose? Oh boy, do we have some good news for you.

Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her) 4/19/21 Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her) 4/19/21

Students uncomfortable after lecturer uses racial slur during lecture. Massey stands by it.

“Massey University stands by our academic staff and their chosen approach to language use when teaching or researching issues that risk offending people.” Honestly, fuck this shit.

Massive Reporters 4/19/21 Massive Reporters 4/19/21

Horoscopes (vol 7)

Aquarius: Go into university sometime. Your lecturers are concerned.

Caroline Moratti 4/19/21 Caroline Moratti 4/19/21

Hangry: A deep dive into the politics of limited eating options and food trucks on campus

The question of “what the fuck do I eat today” has become a nauseating, terrible facet of life at Massey University. Massive decided to look into the options, or lack thereof, around the campuses, and how the University is failing to provide for students.

Courtney Hammond 4/19/21 Courtney Hammond 4/19/21

Te Rau Karamu marae is Massey students’ newest taonga

More than 400 people watched the morning light break the horizon over Massey University’s Pukeahu campus marae, Te Rau Karamu, and its wharenui, Te Whaioranga o Te Whaiao, for its dawn ceremony.

Micah Davis-Rae 4/19/21 Micah Davis-Rae 4/19/21

Crazy, Stupid Crocs: The Unlikely Triumph of the World’s Ugliest Shoe

“I just fucked your bitch in my Balenciaga crocs”

Lia McGuire 4/19/21 Lia McGuire 4/19/21

How to Adult: Scraping through on Studylink

You’ve got no job, no savings, and only course costs to dig your ass out of the dirt, if you haven’t already spent it on an ounce or two…

Cameron Taylor 4/19/21 Cameron Taylor 4/19/21

David Seymour: On mullets, spooning Gerry Brownlee and the best way to open a beer

“Gerry Brownlee would be great for a cuddle”