You know the drill, wake up, make a shitty instant coffee, sink a cone and debate whether or not it’s worth coming into uni when suddenly… FUCK the landlord just texted reminding you of your flat inspection today, and it’s a wreck.

Mix up your question with some names, from “What do you want to do now, baby?” to a “Do you want to fuck me, daddy?” or even a “I want you to ruin me till I’m shaking with every inch, master”

Tune your ears, listen up kids, and get ready for a brief rundown of how to get that stingy landlord in line.

Okay kids, I can’t believe I have to make this but here goes… What follows is a comprehensive and somewhat patronising guide on how to stack your damn dishwasher correctly.

You’ve got no job, no savings, and only course costs to dig your ass out of the dirt, if you haven’t already spent it on an ounce or two…

Oi, Adam. Clean your fucking bong mate.

Step One: Have a car

I know that’s already stumped most of you, but notice I didn’t say your car, just any ol’ car will do. Let’s just hope your mate has insurance…

Paying bills can be a bitch. Shit costs money. For the unfortunate soul who has to calculate, estimate and pay the bills, you tend to spend more than you hoped just to keep things running.