Sexcapades: Hard wood helper

I'd been living at home for my whole 19 years of life at this point and had never been able to buy a dildo. One night I was out clubbing in Wellington, and I met this really hot guy. One thing led to another and since my parents were out of town, I decided to invite him back to mine. 

Things started to get heated. But after what felt like forever, he just couldn't get hard despite my amazing 10/10 head (we were both quite drunk). So, getting desperate to have something hard inside of me, I scanned for something he could use. In my dazed state my eyes landed at the foot of my bed, to my large extruding bed post. This wasn't the first time this thought had crossed my mind, but this time seemed like a good excuse and having a helping hand wouldn't hurt. Right?  

I told him my plan and he helped me get onto the post. It was quite difficult at first but once it fell into place, it was like heaven. He was holding me and talking dirty to me, so it felt just as intimate as sex would be. He also seemed to be enjoying himself. After it seemed like no time at all, I had finished. 

He helped me off, but continued to eye the post. Then... he went over and licked the post, bottom to top. 

Fortunately, after that night we continued talking. And it wasn't the last time we saw that bed post.