Misleading Moustaches and Tormenting Tote Bags: The Performative Fuckboy
He’s hiding in the back of your lecture rolling cigarettes and his eyes at your clearly uninformed tutor. He’s lifting his arms, mid conversation, so that his crop top reveals his American traditional stomach tattoo. And of course, he’s subtly pulling out his paperback copy of the Bell Jar from his pocket when he’s got two minutes to wait for the bus.
A certain list of traits and behaviors has amalgamated in 2025 to become a new genre of dude — The Performative Fuckboy. This upgraded iteration of male manipulator has taken on the ‘wolf in sheep's clothing’ approach by posing as the iced oat matcha sipping he/they of your dreams. Beware ladies, theys, and gays… he’s everywhere.
Traditionally, you’d assume these traits would be positive identifiers of a man that's comfortable in his masculinity. Your rugby loving father sure still wouldn’t approve of Mr Earrings over here. Whilst becoming captivated by women’s art and yummy little drinks are never negative ideas, certain men have taken on these traits not out of personal interest. They’ve taken them on to mislead the labret piercing and cybersigilism tattooed baddies of the world.
Art / Olive Bartlett-Mowat
It’s official, the fuckboys have a new uniform and this one's a whole lot more strategic. We got easily accustomed to spotting snap backs, pit vipers, and white air force ones on this breed of man. If anything, they were happy making their intentions clear. But now, what could be a genuinely lovely guy who just happens to rightfully enjoy Clairo, looks the same as a seedy fuckboy arising from the depths of Hell to manipulate you into oblivion.
I interviewed my favourite DJ/barista/skater with an eyebrow-piercing/lip-ring combo (can I get five big booms), Karl, about his thoughts on The Performative Fuckboy. He may look like he would try to shimmy your panties off with his moustache and tote bag, but he’s just comfortable in his masculinity and hot enough to not need to manipulate women.
Karl theorises that The Performative Fuckboy’s showily behaviors could have seriously pragmatic side effects, “They’re a necessary evil in this world. My hope is some of them will fake it until they make it. Like accidentally fall into feminism whilst pretending to be feminists.” Karl pleads that The Performative Fuckboy will end up reading a few lines of Virginia Woolf and have some meaningful conversations with women whilst cosplaying.
In the meantime, we’re unfortunately left to try and decipher who's posing and who's not. Luckily, time is on our side. The Performative Fuckboy may think he’s fluent in ‘women’, but his lack of any real introspective work will quickly show itself. Karl reflects, “They think they’ve hacked it. But soon enough the facade comes down and their misogyny shows itself in the way that they treat the girls they date.”
If he invested his time in figuring out why he resents his mother instead of virtue signaling, he may have a chance at a deep and meaningful relationship with a girl in Tabis.
Many studies and articles have been published over the past 20 years about performative masculinity. But they have all pointed to concepts of patriarchal ‘manliness’ -- AKA the pressure to be the ultimate macho alpha male. Social psychologist and senior scientist at the Neuroleadership Institute, Peter Glick, puts it, “The notion is masculinity is a status that you constantly have to prove.” This conviction still applies to our Performative Fuckboys, but instead of trying to prove themselves to other men, they’ve realized how much more pussy they get when they change their target audience to women.
As one baddie after another gets fucked over by the men in vintage Levis, one can’t help but wonder what the prize at the end of the game is? How long can one sustain a performance of such expanse for? Or will he eventually become the character he plays as Karl hopes?
I suppose time will tell as the trend cycle does what it does best — change. This iteration of fuck boy may be trading back his cigarettes for a vape in no time. Maybe even redownloading all the Drake and Brent Faiyaz he hid at the bottom of his Spotify library. Because at the end of the day, the fuck boy will never go extinct, he’ll just continuously evolve.
In the age of falsity, we feign authenticity. I want your moustache and mullet to accurately represent your soul just as I hope my bleached eyebrows represent mine. Because truly, women are born cool, while straight cis men really have to try.
For now, I’ll leave you with Karl’s tempting advice: “Just give the guy holding a really big fish a chance.”