Most of us are familiar with sitting down to watch a couple of TikToks and blinking forward a couple of hours; or putting off an assignment we were excited to write until the thought of touching a laptop makes you want to drop out and pursue a career in stripping. These experiences are all to do with dopamine, a chemical most of us haven’t heard of, but have spent our lives chasing.

I’m sure everyone is familiar with the discourse about what schools should really be teaching us. There was probably a smart-ass in math who interrogated the teacher about when they’d actually need algebra in real life. It’s a good point, a great point even. Unless you’re actually studying something mathematics-related as a career, I doubt you need to understand calculus or algebra to be successful in the working world.

6: Listen to your lecture recordings as you go to sleep. If nothing else, maybe you’ll finally get a good night's sleep! There’s nothing like the sound of your lecturer's voice to make you sleepy as fuck.

My complete apathy towards religion started transitioning into, quite honestly, an open dislike for it when I realised I was gay.

With one door closing, another fucking door opens, it's that time of the year where a full-time job starts becoming the sad reality.

From stationery floating in jelly to classic gladwrap gags, pranks sustain us through the misery years of university. But, where have they all gone?

It’s the beginning of October, so a global pandemic and growing inequity is a fitting and kinda scary way to start off the spooky season.

We've all been browsing where we shouldn’t be late at night and come across something that piques our curiosity, right?

With my tummy rumbling as we speak, lets dive into a few ways you can positively contribute to the environment while eating tasty kai.

<3 ? <3 ?

It’s that time of the year again where you get to vote for your next year executive team to represent your voice both regionally and nationally.

Unless you want to live in the forest, catch your own food and avoid regular DOC worker patrols, the market will force you to continue renting.

I’ve been hearing about the WitchTok community of TikTok for some time now. After the stress of this year, I just want to CHILL.

The academic year at Massey is starting to reach its end, our StudyLink payments are disappearing into the sunset and most of us are not sure what we’ll do without them. This begs the question: What the fuck do we do now?

Read below for a sneak peek at an intimate look of our editor’s schedule.

“It was also in that moment that I remembered that ketamine is famously a horse tranquilizer. Of course.”

“When we play in te reo, it’s not about us, it’s not for us. It’s about Māori singing with pride and joy as their language is put on a pedestal.”

Okay folks, I’m gonna say it on behalf of everyone: THANK FUCK FOR VIBRATORS

A photographic essay by Callum Parsons

Whether you’re throwing it in a stir-fry or smothering it on toast at 2am, peanut butter is a sexy, sultry staple for any sensible student.