Toilet paper: what separates man from beast. From booze poos to post-sex pissing, toilet paper has always been there in my time of need.

DARTZ is a Wellington punk-rock band that serves up student realness, from songs about bath salts to shitty flats and Captain Cook being a “wig-wearing cuck”.

The question of “what the fuck do I eat today” has become a nauseating, terrible facet of life at Massey University. Massive decided to look into the options, or lack thereof, around the campuses, and how the University is failing to provide for students.

“I just fucked your bitch in my Balenciaga crocs”

“Gerry Brownlee would be great for a cuddle”

The power under scrutiny is that of the patriarchy, and how society upholds this in a way that continues to oppress the lives of women internationally.

What the fuck happened to that cannabis referendum? Massive talks to Chlöe Swarbrick about what went wrong and what happens next.

Sit back, relax. Melt into the couch, stare into the depths of the universe. With the right chemical additive, the universe will stare back, showing you possibilities you’ve never dreamed of, or perhaps something you dreamed but never dared to remember.

Heads up, Countdown Pharmacies and Chemist Warehouse will fill your prescriptions for free.

In the name of good journalism, Massive went down the rabbit hole of crushed powders, to find the elusive truth.

We talk to people about their funniest experiences sussing drugs

“I remember speaking complete gibberish and having these manic emotional spells where I’d go from being super aggressive, to anxious and upset, and then I’d be uncontrollably laughing.”

A spot where you feel comfortable to be who you are, regardless of who that is, is so important. Not only for queer people, but for anyone who feels uncomfortable or out of place in the typical ‘town’ experience.

Bisexuals - in the words of Hannah Montana- have the best of both worlds. We can have a crush on Miley Cyrus and Jake Ryan at the same time, and it’s fucking awesome. However, unfortunately there still exists some shitty stereotypes and stigma that linger around the sexuality, even today in goddamn 2021.

Remember when that happened? I swear I’m becoming desensitised.

Companies are exploiting queer culture and disguising it as allyship

Aden’s recent project To Be A Man is a photobook that tells the story of his life as a transgender man. It captures and beautifully contrasts the monumental events and quiet moments of a man undergoing a medical and social transition.

“Here I am, a big-bodeid, fem non-binary takatāpui taking up all of this space in this motherfucking colonial building”

I was thirteen when I found out my mum was gay. My mother and I have a complicated relationship, you see.