What Your Childhood Dream Shoe Says About You
Heelys
You’ve been absolutely cracked since you were a child. This roller-skate/sneaker hybrid seemed like the perfect way to zoom around life as quickly as possible. Heelys felt like a dream come true for your hyperactive personality. Once wheeling around on the pavement, you now bump techno at 7am.
You’ve always been the life of the party. Even when your friends are ready to go home, your night is just getting started. You’ll always pick a Flamingo scooter over an Uber yet somehow always make it home safely. Keep your fridge stocked with Powerade and don’t forget to breathe when you get the chance.
Disney Princess Jelly Heels
Once bowing down to Aurora and Jasmine, you’re now religiously tracking Taylor Swift and Lorde’s friendships status. Owning the sparkling blue Cinderella shoes would have changed the game for you. Now you have to make sure you get a good pic at every party for the same effect.
Your screentime is insanely high, and you’re scarily good at psychoanalysing people. Connecting the dots from one situation to another makes it easy for you to understand people. But remember your friendships IRL are more important than the parasocial relationships you’ve formed with celebrities.
Knee-high Converse
Oh, you loved knee-high Converse as I kid? How’s that nose piercing going. Don’t forget the tattoos.
From day one you’ve had audiences reveling in your mystery. Some have likened you to a manic pixie dream girl of sorts. But you’re too busy posting on Substack and fantasising about that one person in your lecture to pay attention to reductive labels like that. Many try to copy your dyed hair, smudged eyeliner, and bruised knees. But once they catch on to your look, you’re already moving on to what the new hot trend is. People may try to steal your swag, but your style is so personal that no one can rip it off.
Osiris D3s
Oh, heyyyyy skaters. You likely loved watching skate videos on YouTube as a kid, and now you are living your dream on the streets. Your closet encapsulates the word ‘baggy’, and jorts and a cap are an everyday staple for you.
But behind your cool aesthetic, you are a huge softie. A Knee-High Converse Girl shredded your heart to pieces in high school, so now you just focus on shredding rails. Unfortunately, your tre-flips still aren’t paying the bills. So don’t forget to put down the beer every now and again and pick up a job application. But your homies always spot the sesh so you’re good for now.
Lelli Kelly Glitter Shoes
As a child, you were a bossy diva. And nothing has changed. These shoes were made for those who are put-together, career driven, and dominating. You’re probably quite political and are constantly reminding people to vote. The grandly constructed detail in these shoes match your type A personality to a T. These blinged out flats would’ve gotten you the attention you crave and yet the functionality your work ethic requires.
When the weekend rolls around, you put energy into coordinating your RTDs to your outfit. Organised fun is your middle name and ultimately, Euro summer would’ve never happened without you. Hopefully one day you’ll figure out how to chill out, but for now, continue to play hard and work hard.
UGGs
If you made goo-goo eyes at these comfy boots as a kid, you are now the ultimate basic bitch. UGGs have made a huge comeback this year into the mainstream, and you have no shame in jumping on the band wagon. Some might say you have ‘no individuality’, but you scoff at their critiques, understanding that actually it’s okay to like things.
In primary school you were super popular, and high school was the same. Your ethics on shopping fast fashion are a little vague, but you’re not afraid to go for comfort over style. Every time you drive past a paddock of fluffy sheep, you can’t help yourself from pointing out the window and shouting, “SHEEP!”