Backpack

Basically, you’re a human storage unit. You’re giving hermit crab — except your shell is two sizes too big and covered in pen stains. Packed to the brim with a packed lunch, Chromebook, textbooks and a rogue pair of shoes for good measure, you’re clearly preparing for the apocalypse. You’ve had this bag since high school, and it’s fraying at the zips — but you refuse to admit it’s on its last legs. Why fix what ain’t broke? You’re someone who values functionality over fashion, and the satisfaction of having both hands free... even if it means looking like a dork.

Tote Bag

You’re a creative, chaotic soul, who probably got your tote for free. The ton of bricks you keep in there is hanging on by a thread — literally. Your shoulder is screaming, but you pretend it’s fine. You’re often found at the uni cafe digging around your tote in search of your wallet (and possibly a half-melted lip balm). You love a post-lecture vape and hate commitment — especially to a bag with zips. You might think you’re saving money with a cheap bag, but you’ll end up spending hundreds on back massages in the long run. The only thing that’s really got your back is your emotional support water bottle.

Messenger bag

You strut through campus with purpose. There’s always someone to see and somewhere to be. This bag isn’t just a choice, it’s your identity. With your sturdy leather strap slung neatly over your shoulder, you picked this bag when you started your uni degree because you thought it would make you appear mysterious and studious. An overachiever at best, you fill your calendar to the brim to avoid the chance of being alone for even a moment to face any real feelings. You think you're more sophisticated than the tote bag wearers, but you actually have more emotional baggage.

Briefcase

You mean business — and your bag does too. Your sleek briefcase matches your chinos, dark wash jeans, and your five-year plan. Every handout given in class is filed into their individually labelled compartments of the bag with military precision. You bought this bag the second you landed that fancy internship, desperate for everyone to know you were ready to climb the corporate chain. Lunch breaks aren’t your style. But don’t worry — your briefcase has a compartment stocked with snacks to fuel you through the all-nighters and self-imposed burnouts.

Cross-body satchel

Creative, maximalist, and type B — your bag is a reflection of you. It still smells of the time you spilled your oat milk latte through it. Though, at this point it’s hard to tell if it’s the bag or just... you. Covered in your favourite pins, keychains and patches, it’s unique, just like you. It’s your most loyal companion – whether you’re at uni or crying outside the club at 3am. It’s held together by sentimentality, and you wouldn’t dream of swapping it out. Just… maybe give it a clean. The four-month-old banana isn’t fooling anyone.

Handbag

As a fashion girlie, you’ve spent time and effort hunting down the perfect bag to wear on the catwalk which you call campus. Practicality is low on your priorities — as is an extra layer for the cold winds. But as long as you’ve got your claw clip, lip gloss, ciggies and a lighter, you’re strapped and ready to go. Who needs a laptop? You like to claim you drank matcha before it was cool, and when you're not trawling Recycle Boutique for a new identity, you’re either plotting your next creative masterpiece… or dramatically decomposing in bed with your third existential crisis of the week.

Fanny pack

Still riding the glory days of your Euro summer, you refuse to let the fanny pack go. Every second sentence starts with “When I was in Italy...” or “This one time in London…” Newsflash: no one asked. You always carry the essentials on you (snacks, sunnies, SPF), meaning you're definitely the mum of the group. But on campus? Your glorified crotch pouch can’t even fit a textbook. But realistically, you’re just here for the O-Week food trucks anyway.

Multiple bags

Unable to find a bag which would fit in all your hobbies, you instead became a walking coat rack. You’re so overcommitted you couldn’t commit to just one bag. A laptop bag hangs off one arm, art folder tucked under your shoulder, water bottle carrier hanging off your pinky, and a duffel bag threatens to choke you. You meticulously loaded your stack. But if one thing falls off, you’d go tumbling down the stairs. Running on caffeine, you left the house at 6am and are powering through the day — one step away from a nervous breakdown.

Gym bag

We get it. You’re a gym bro and you want everyone to know. You think lugging your red CityFitness bag around campus makes you look fit. In reality? It just means we know you have an embarrassing mirror selfie at the gym featured on your Tinder profile. You’re always rocking a tee a size too small, paired with trackpants which hang uncomfortably low across your hips. As you rummage around for your multi-use notebook and stray pencils lost somewhere in the depths of the bag, a waft of Lynx Africa and BO escapes. People flee when they see you coming.

No bag

You're either a man with the luxury of large pockets, or you’re someone who enjoys living life on the edge. With a crumpled wad of paper stuffed in your back pocket, you’re the type to ask the person next to you for a pen and then proceed to ‘forget’ to give it back. It’s a miracle you still manage to remember your phone, AirPods, and vape — especially given you’ve forgotten it’s your girlfriend’s birthday today.

What Your Campus Clutch Says About You