A Poem from Goodbye For Now.

I ask you, 

Did you feel strong  

When you swung at my face?  

Did you feel more of a man  

By hitting someone  

Dressed less like one? 

Your fist may have kissed my cheek,  

But I assure you  

The bruising will heal.  

I did not stumble  

Nor shed a tear.  

And I will continue to kiss boys on the cheek  

Better than you.  

If this love letter reaches you,  

Know  

I will see you again  

In my high heels and plastic hair  

And you can throw all the cowardly swings you wish.  

And I still won’t flinch.   

______________

It seems dumb to write a poem about getting punched. Admittedly, it messed with me more than expected. 

_______________

Photo by Samson Dell

Kiran Morar, a first-generation immigrant from Gujarat, India, moved with his family to Auckland, New Zealand, seeking a better life. Amidst puberty, community norms, and cultural adjustments, Kiran grapples with his identity, particularly his queerness. As a Queer Artist, Writer, and Performer based in Wellington, Kiran sought liberation through academics and self-expression. His journey culminated in Goodbye, For Now., originally his Massey BFA (Hon) summative project, now a standalone creation. 

Goodbye, For Now. delves into the author's journey with identity and relationships as a child of immigrants in New Zealand, navigating the intersections of otherness and queerness. It mourns and critiques family dynamics, explores the complexities of queerness, self-acceptance, and romance, encapsulating the anxieties of being queer and seeking love. It serves as both a lament and a defiance against vulnerability, ultimately a love letter to the author's evolving self and those who have embraced its various iterations.