Scissoring: Trying to make the cut

Words by Scissoring Scarlett

I’ve played rock-paper-scissors countless times in life — but I’ve never won with scissoring. I’ve always been down to experiment during sex. From dirty talking to role play. But I’ve never been sure if I’m sharp enough for scissoring.  

Honestly? I thought scissoring was a porn myth — just another way to sexualise women. But after talking with my queer friends, I found out it’s real and apparently really good.  

Curious about the truth, I ask my girlfriend: “Hey, what if we like, tried scissoring later?” Safe to say she wasn’t expecting that, but she still said yes.  

Neither of us have any experience, so we get to work, starting with classic research resource: porn. Both of us have little experience with it, believing it to be purely for straight men and their fantasies. But I knew there would be no shortage of scissoring content. After confirming we were over 18, we were immediately presented with unrealistic video thumbnails that I don’t think bleach could remove from my brain. Some likely illegal or non-consensual, we scrolled in quiet shock, turning to each other with equal looks of confusion and disgust.  

“Wow,” my girlfriend whispers, “I am such a lesbian.”  

Art / Tara Griz

So that is enough of the porn homepages. We refine our search to “scissoring”, and this was where the real work began. We nervously click on one of the first videos titled, “All natural young lesbian scissoring and face sitting.” I try to make note of the positions but all I can think about is how on earth they are so flexible. But I’m determined. If these two incredibly straight looking girls can scissor, so can I.   

After a heavy make out sesh that night, I ask my girlfriend if she wants to give it a go. We strip off our clothes and I climb between her legs, trying to maintain a facade of confidence. I take a deep breath, spread her legs and hover above her, before sitting down with our vaginas together. 

Oh? It’s... wet, I think. Should’ve seen that one coming. I try spreading her legs more, but she yelps. She isn’t flexible enough for this. Shimmying closer, I manually spread us both open. At this point, it is starting to feel kind of nice — it’s hot being this close to each other. I look at her and see that she agrees.    

“Okay, so what now?” I ask breathlessly.  

“I guess you... move?” she replies.  

I nod and begin to move back and forth as you would when grinding on someone. Moving back and forth, faster and slower, it doesn’t feel quite as satisfying as I’d hoped. It’s nice, but in the way that grinding is. It won’t actually get us anywhere. The position is awkward and not very comfortable. 

After more wriggling, shimmying and words of encouragement, we eventually give up in a tangled heap. I expected to collapse in a haze of pleasure and glory, but all I have is sore limbs and wet legs.    

But I’m not going to accept defeat that easily. We just need to conduct more research.  

After a few days of recovery, I feel a renewed confidence. A Google search brings us to an article on SexPositions.com titled 106 Lesbian Sex Positions For A Crazy Girl-on-Girl Sex. The site includes 11 scissoring positions, and we take our picks of what looks most achievable.  

We do some stretches to improve our flexibility and start making out. Once we’re both wet, it’s go time.  

Starting with position three, my girlfriend sits back with her legs bent behind her as I try and position myself sideways on her lap. After some adjustments and more manual spreading, we somewhat resemble the position – apart from Sarah’s foot which somehow ends up pressed against the wall(?) I move back and forth, in a circle, even up and down. But I’m not sold.  

“We need to try something more creative. More exciting,” I say seriously.  

So, we change to position six, which the article claims is “great for lesbian girls who love thrills”. The example illustration depicts one girl on a couch, legs spread up against the back of the couch. The other sits between her legs, almost straddling the couch. The best setup we have on hand is the floor and my bed.  

We assume the position, and I carefully position myself on top praying I don’t squash my girlfriend.   

We last all of 10 seconds before both collapsing on the ground in a fit of laughter, all dignity lost. 

“I don’t think I’m built for this,” Sarah giggles.  

“Me neither,” I sigh.   

We are forced to admit defeat. I choose to blame it on our anatomy, because we certainly had the determination going for us. While we never quite figured out how scissoring worked, we learnt a lot about innovation in the world of sex positions.  

Personally? I’m just going to stick to fingering.