“Lol lol lololol… lol.”
You could encounter someone with a very closed attitude to asstrology this week, Aquarius. Remember your ass’ is perfect.
This week, someone will disagree with you. They may be right and you may need to apologise. Do so willingly. Unless you are right, in which case drag that bitch to hell.
Congratulations Aries! This week you will have a baby. If you don’t, the stars are wrong and you’re probably adopted. Sorry no offence but it’s trueeee byeeee.
Be a good friend this week by hanging out with your friends, listening to them when they speak to you, speaking to them, getting coffee, omg let’s go to mishmosh yeh i dont really like mishmosh either but it’s fun when you’re drrruuunkkk like just for a laugh.
Your emoji this week is vomit face lol sorry bowt it I don’t make the rules I just predict them.
uggggh cancer you are the WORST. Petty bish.
Ask. Them. Out.
General truism that could apply to literally anyone.
You’re keen to make a bold move in your love life, Libra. In this case, love life can be applied metaphorically since you’re forever alone. Wah #ready2mingle #ilovebeingsingle #tilimnot #theneveryprofilepic #ismeandmyboo
You will feel a mix of emotions this week, Scorpio. Except for robot scorpios, who just wish that one day they will feel love. Scorpion shaped robots, cooooool #mynexttattoo
Autumn is coming (maybe). Forage for mushrooms.
Use more lube, the labia will love you for it. Safe sex always. Only for you though not the other signs they can get riddled with gonorrhea BAI.