Shower Thoughts

Thinking outside the box: A pessimistic piss-take (from a male prospective)

As I travel these lonely astral roads, I ponder the pretentious proverbs that infect our consciousness. Many a day, I hear these platitudes that pollute the verbal environment.

Imagine sitting in a lecture, listening to your lecturer blab on about a simple solution to an aforementioned problem. He utters the words “think outside the box”. This causes fiery synapses to propagate down your spine, and you clench your left nut in frustration. This testicular torment transcends all logical thought, and you lash out at the gronk mutt with complete disregard for the other victims in the lecture theatre. The utilisation of such phrases is uncalled for.

This is just an example of the piss-poor platitudes that are born from the fornication of life lessons and witty etymology. Why confine thinking to a box? Such cliches are a scourge upon society. These over-utilised adages supposedly help us along the great journey that constitutes life. However, in reality they give us a false sense of security and lead us down the path to premature detonation.

Such shallow sayings make us yearn for more prostate-oriented nomenclature that doesn’t perforate the intellectual ionosphere. I encourage you to throw conventional thought out the proverbial window and migrate all decision-making to the nether region. Here you will find inner peace, that can only be provided by a pubic moment. Let us fondle freely.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. This plaintive collection of words makes me want to squeeze the lemons in my eyes and snort my washing powder. Let us substitute these morbid metaphors with fertile phrases that will expand scrotal circumference worldwide.

These alternative platitudes pulse with a promise of enlightenment that only a ball sack moment can bring. These traditional adages bear no hope against their testicular alternatives. As a final thought, I urge you to think outside the ball sack.

TL;DR: Don’t let society force you into thinking outside the box, try thinking outside the ball sack.

Until Next Time,


Not Your Average Ponderer