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How to introduce sex toys into your relationship

Forget meeting the parents, there’s another introduction that might seem way more daunting in your relationship: sex toys.

Whether you’re newly coupled up or in it for the long run, you might have toyed with the idea of adding something new into the bedroom. Maybe you’ve seen a weird DIY online or spent a little too long staring in your local sex shop as you walk by - hey, we all start somewhere!

Now, let’s get one thing straight before you start umming and ahhing about why you and your partner would need sex toys: wanting to try something new doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your current sex life! Have you ever heard of making a good thing, great? Yeah, that’s what we’re trying to achieve here.

The “Sex Toy Talk” might feel awkward. But it’s important to remember that it’s totally okay to want to spice things up. Sex toys can help improve overall satisfaction and pleasure in the bedroom, and make way for a million new sensations.

So, you’re interested. Duh, who wouldn’t be?! But bringing it up to your partner is a little different, so here are some tips to get the ball rolling.


As much as you probably wish they could, your partner can’t read your mind. If they can’t tell what you want to eat for dinner then they definitely can’t tell that you’re thinking about buying a vibrator with next week’s student allowance.

It’s important to talk about the topic before delving into anything, and clarifying what you mean. “Sex toys” to some people might mean a small bullet vibe, while to another could be a strap-on or bondage horse. Yeah, it’s a pretty vast subject area, so you want to be super clear about what exactly you want to avoid confusion! 

Bringing up the idea when you’re being intimate might seem like an award-winning idea, but it’s also best to talk about it without any distractions. You don’t want them to feel pressured into making decisions. There’s nothing worse than having someone queued behind you in the drive thru and having no idea what you want to order and making rash decisions in the heat of the moment! Talk to them openly and honestly, and give them a chance to think about it with zero distractions.


Reassurance is key when talking about sex toys. It can be a sensitive topic!

Make sure your partner knows that everything they are doing is great and you’re not replacing them - you just want to try something a little different. Key being that you want to try something different with them.

At the end of the day, a sex toy is probably gonna pleasure them too. So focus on the benefits and it’ll pretty much be a done deal!

Shop together!

Forget Netflix and chill, why not head online and shop for sex toys online with your partner in the comfort of your own bed? Not only is this a good way to survey the options and figure out what you both might like, it can be pretty entertaining. Uh, yeah, people really buy toys that big. Don’t ask me how it’s possible.

Shopping for toys together will ensure that you choose something you both like. If you’re first timers, opt away from anything phallic shaped or too realistic - it’s best to get toys with abstract shapes so it can’t be seen as a ‘replacement’.

There are dozens of toys designed for couples of all genders and orientations, and it’s all about getting a lil creative and braving outside your comfort zone! So open up that incognito tab and get browsing... 

Not sure what to get?! ATMS has you covered! Get a FREE cock ring or bullet vibe using the code MASSEYRING or MASSEYBULLET at adulttoymegastore.co.nz! One coupon per order. Shipping fee applies - while stocks last.