Horoscoping you out - Issue 7

The signs in live – laugh – LOVE

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) - As an idealistic air sign, you need someone intellectually stimulating enough to keep up with you and your plans to change the world – starting with education and social welfare reform. If your boo can’t even commit to a $5 Green Party membership, it might be time to move on.

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20) - Using emojis is about the only way you tend to communicate your emotions, Pisces, even though you’re actually a total romantic. I know trust doesn’t come easily to you but maybe try experimenting with a few extra adjectives here and there and throw in a few more personal facts about yourself on your next Tinder/Grinder/Bumble date and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) - Single Aries loves the thrill of the chase and is never afraid or ashamed to message twice, and an Aries in relationships craves constant attention. However, you stan a feisty lover, and push-overs are boring AF to you. Go for Sagittarius, Geminis and Leos, they can keep up with you in a debate.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) - Earthy Taurus in relationships are all about sharing creature comforts, like watching Queer Eye in bed while you feed each other pork dumplings. Your ruling planet is Venus, the goddess of beauty, and as a result you’re a bit indulgent sometimes. Just be careful things don’t become stagnant and monotonous. Wash the soy sauce out of your sheets and try going out to see a movie sometimes instead.

Gemini (May 22 - Jun 21) - You’re a snuggly little air sign who loves dishing out affection but doesn’t need or expect as much attention as other signs do (sorry Aries). You’re pretty much incapable of being unfriendly to anyone which some may misinterpret as flirting. Keep the lines of communication open so your partner knows that this is just a part of your nature. Gemini babies are super loyal and often end up falling for old friends, so if you’re looking for love it could be right under your nose.

Cancer (Jun 22 - July 23) - As a sensitive little water sign, you are very in touch with your emotions and are super romantic. You don’t vibe casual relationships or even casual sexy times which might explain why you’ve found them unsatisfying in the past. When you’re in a relationship you pretty much live in your partner’s pocket which some signs find pretty suffocating. Don’t forget to make time for your friends and family – they still exist outside of your love haze.

Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) - I can feel the heat you’re giving off from here, Leo. You’re passionate, confident and don’t like to beat around the bush when it comes to expressing how you feel, whether it’s to your partner or the cutie with the keep-cup in front of you at the uni cafe You’re also kinda horny and believe love and lust go hand in hand. Water signs can find this a bit intense but an Air sign will help to fan your flames. Earth is a lost cause.

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sep 23) - You know you’re a Virgo if you’ve ever contemplated giving your date a questionnaire to fill out or stalked their LinkedIn profile as well as their Insta. Your practical nature means you have super high standards and would rather be alone than settle. If they aren’t hygienic and maintaining an A average you’re not interested. However, you’re also a sucker for a fixer-upper job. Just remember you’re not a life coach and listen to JLo’s Ain’t Your Mama.

Libra (Sep 24 - Oct 23) - You love being in love. Your favourite holiday is Valentine’s Day and you have at least three Live Laugh Love signs in your flat. Unfortunately, that means you often choose to stay in a bad relationship rather than spend a minute alone. Just remember that you’re a charming Venus ruled sign and that it’s ok to be picky or even call it quits if things aren’t working. You deserve the best and will be snatched up off the shelf faster than block of Whittaker’s creamy caramel.

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 23) - Your sign literally represents sex, but you’ve got some soul too. You awaken a lot of dark primal instincts in other signs and your relationships are pretty intense just like your personality. You might worry that this will intimidate potential partners so you can take a while to build relationships. Whatever happens, don’t let anyone kink shame you again. A Scorpio never forgets.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You’re a hedonistic sign that likes to squeeze as much as possible out of life and that goes for relationships too. You are attracted to the outgoing, confident type who will go for runs with you and your three golden labs at 6.30am before climbing Mount Kaukau and finishing the day off with couples Pilates class. Such fun. Find yourself a Pisces for a laugh or an Aquarius for some serious soul searching.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 20) - When most plan out their lives with their crushes in their heads there are Tuscan villas, a shared tattoo business or a pug sanctuary involved. As a practical earthy sign, your fantasies are a bit more realistic. Like sharing a room in an 8 bed flat until you’re both 30 realistic. You like stability in a relationship but this means you often stick to what you know out of fear. Can I suggest you try something a little out your comfort zone? I’ll leave that to your imagination.