Horoscoping you out - Issue 8

How are the signs coping this semester?

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19) - You slept through tutorial sign up and now your timetable is a mess and you’ll spend the whole semester being ghosted by people who you’re begging to switch with you.

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20) - You’ll request to print all your readings and then lose them to your flatmate’s pet rats and refuse to print more because you feel guilty about the environmental cost.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) - You’ll catch a cold from the ice inside your soul/flat and miss a solid two weeks of class but your lecturer will be super understanding and you’ll realise there is some good left in the world.

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) - Still stubbornly refusing to buy textbooks after three years.

Gemini (May 22 - Jun 21) - You’re going to sign up to be a class rep for the fourth time because why not.

Cancer (Jun 22 - July 23) - If you’re an arts student you’re going to have a critique that changes your life, but I can’t say whether it will be for the better or worse, let me know?

Leo (July 24 - Aug 23) - You’ll get the highest grade of your academic career and start worrying that you’ve peaked too soon.

Virgo (Aug 24 - Sep 23) - You’ll fall in love with the person sitting in front of you in your lecture theatre but never actually speak to them.

Libra (Sep 24 - Oct 23) - Prepare to fail your first ever assignment but then ace the next one because variety is the spice of life.

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 23) - You’re going to go to the ball and say something embarrassing to someone in your tute and never make eye contact with them again.

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 22) - Group assignments have always been your downfall but this time you might realise it’s you who has been the slacker. Beware the feedback form.

Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 20) - You’re going to accidentally match with your lecturer on Tinder and delete the whole app.