Good Cop, Bad Cop

Good Cop, Bad Cop - Issue 6

Hello how are you, it has indeed been a while! I got in contact with you a few weeks back regarding a Justin Bieber concert. Well I wanted to let you know that your advice is terrible. My girlfriend’s sister ended up not even going to the concert as she was too busy doing some knitting. So, I sat through a whole concert and now I am the targeting of numerous slurs from the boys. What should I do?

Sorry for my advice, sometimes we don’t all get things right. If you are feeling down, perhaps tell your friends that them doing this is making you feel a bit bad? You could also try going to see a counsellor and try to talk things through. Also, you could go to KFC and smash a bucket back, that always makes me feel better! - GC

Hey, I have recently won about $2.4 million from a scratchy at my local Four Square. I am too worried that my friends might start using me for my money and not for me. I also have become addicted to buying swan plants from Palmers, to try build my own butterfly sanctuary. What should I do?

You should spend all of your money at the TAB, pick out the most fragile looking horse at Randwick, with the shittiest looking jockey. That way you will no longer have to worry about your money problems, and your mates will think you’re a fucking legend for smashing out such a shit bet. Save $10 though so you can buy some juices and share them with your mates to enjoy the huge deficit in style - BC