Good Cop, Bad Cop

Good Cop, Bad Cop - Issue 5

Hi there, I have recently been invited to go to a Justin Bieber concert with my girlfriend and her little sister. The thing is my boys will think I’m fucked and bully the shit out of me if I choose to go. I don’t want to let my girlfriend down and have her think that I hate her. I mean I do hate her little sister, I think she’s a bitch, but still the onslaught from my mates will be rough. What should I do?

Surely you should go, it is a huge opportunity to get to know your girlfriend’s little sister and change your opinion of her. Justin Bieber is pretty shit but hey, it won’t last too long. When the onslaught from the boys comes in, just rip them back, easy as - GC

I was recently in Pak n’ Save when I saw the Cookie Time Monster handing out samples down the biscuit aisle. At first, I thought, do I really need a cookie but then it hit me, of course I fucking did. I ran over to the big red mother fucker and kicked the shit out of him and stole his box of cookies. He was visibly very hurt but fuck it I thought. I ran towards the exit of the shop, when the big fuck off security guard put a hit on me. I am now in hospital and can’t walk, but I have an exam tomorrow. What am I gonna do?

Well shit. What a story. Perhaps you could pay one of your mates to do it for you, pick one who isn’t shit. Otherwise just don’t do it, exams are a bit of a waste of time to be honest. Learn to walk again so you can head back to Pak n’ Save to get back at that security guard - BC