Good Cop, Bad Cop

Good Cop, Bad Cop - Issue 11

Hey, hello there! I was once out and about doing my nightly 39km power walk when I saw something fucking dis-aaaaastrous! I saw that the 24 hour dairy was closed??? I was baffled to say the least, where was I going to grab my post-walk piece of fruit now (I usually get a banana)? Without my fruit I won’t be able to get a goodnight sleep for class in the morning, as I’ll be up stressing all night due to the low levels of potassium in my immune system. What on Earth should I do?

Perhaps you could try re-arranging your nightly routine? Try being in bed by 4.30pm to get enough sleep for class. Also move your power walk to the morning so you get a fresh start to the day. By doing this you could have a lot more of a choice to refuel after your exercise too - GC

Well fuck it has happened again. My naughty aunt Denice is coming up to visit me. This is all well and good, but she is addicted to meth and crack. She is absolutely atrocious and needs help, but I don’t think I’m in a position to help her out as I have a severe case of the measles. I wish aunt Denice wasn’t coming to visit because I just know she is going to give me shit in front of my four friends. What can I do?

Well I guess you are in a bit of quite the pickle! Don’t fear though I also have an aunt who is cracked out, so I know what it is like! All you must do is buy a wee bit of crack and strap it to your pet cat. When she comes around she’ll be cat chasing all the time and have no time to bully you! Easy fix, also you could try not to get the measles, such a shit thing to have, you’re fucked - BC