“Sorry, I’m too big for condoms so we can’t use them.”
“I promise I don’t have anything, I had a check, uh, last year.”
“I’m pretty sure I remembered my pill this morning, so it’s fine.”
“Nah, it ruins the mood.”
Guaranteed you’ve heard at least one of these excuses when you’re getting hot and heavy with a significant other, Tinder hook-up, or cute single from Estab. The classic condom conundrum.
Condoms are a love-hate relationship for many. Obviously, they help prevent against pregnancy and STIs (98% of the time), so you’ve gotta give them some credit. But they also don’t feel that great, and yeah, I get it, they can get in the way.
The good thing is, condoms come in MANY different shapes and sizes and colours and flavours.
Firstly, you might not even be using condoms correctly. If you’ve picked up the free condoms that Massey lovingly provides around campus, then you’ve likely encountered the small sachet of lube that is generally included. This is no coincidence! These two are a match made in heaven.
Lube can dramatically improve your condom experience. While condoms are usually pre-lubricated, this is barely enough to last even a pump or two. So if you’re planning on lasting longer than 30 seconds, you’ll want some extra stuff on hand!
If your partner is *adamant* that slipping a condom on instantly erases any form of pleasure, here’s a hot tip: apply some lube before putting the condom on. This can help with providing extra stimulation!
Lube helps prevent breakage and tearing, makes everything a lot slippier and more comfortable, and will help add some new sensations for a much more pleasurable experience. Just remember to avoid anything oil-based, as it will break down the rubber of the condom!
Despite popular belief, Durex is not the only condom brand out there. Shock horror! There are actually heaps of other condom brands, and different styles. Try something ribbed or textured if you’re lacking sensation. Or sweeten up oral with some flavours like strawberry or chocolate!
Brands like Skyn and Ansell have specific ultra thin styles that are great for people who rely on condoms, but don’t necessarily want to feel them during sex. These condoms are made from super strong latex to give you the ultimate ~intimate~ experience.
There actually is a chance that you might be using the wrong sized condom, too - whether too big or too small, it can make a huge difference! If the condom is too small, it will feel tight around the tip and might break easily. If it’s too big, it might be loose around the base and slip off easily. Several brands, such as My Size, have specific sizes so there’s a perfect match for everyone!
It’s important to note that condoms aren’t 100% reliable and you should always have a back-up plan, just in case. There’s always a chance it could break or tear, and you need to remember that pre-cum can still impregnate your partner - so while it might be awkward, make sure you have The Chat about what you’d do in that scenario.
And remember, wrap it before you tap it!
Did someone say FREE Glyde strawberry condoms?! Yes please! Head to adulttoymegastore.co.nz and use code MASSIVEGLYDE to redeem your pack of 10 Glyde condoms. Shipping fee applies. While stocks last.