June 18, 2020
Issue 07 2020

What your music taste says about you

Fortunately for the human race we all have different preferences when it comes to the music that enters our precious ear holes. Unfortunately the human race also thrives off conflict and we often look down on people for their musical preferences; hence the reason I am here writing this today. In 700-800 words I am going to pigeon-hole you into a stereotype based on your music taste, bad or not. 

COUNTRY


Hailing from the small town of Napier on the East coast of this lovely country, I was exposed to country music at a young age. 


If you are still listening to it you probably still haven’t left your small town. 


Country is a niche genre; the majority of the audience is either over forty or still stuck in their days of ‘shed’ drinking with the same old boys that they grew up with. 


While driving through rural towns I often see numerous cans of bourbon and cola on the road, which I can only assume is thrown from moving utes on the drive home from a woolshed party (hopefully with a designated sober bro or the missus in the driver's seat).


It may seem as if I am only talking about the males present within this audience, I’m not. Females also fit into this audience - their drink preference may change to either a KGB (if they still exist) or a Smirnoff Ice, more specifically the one with the black label. 


Since this demographic still lives in their small towns, their attire may consist of some ilabb jeans complemented with a Swanndri for those nights that you don’t make it home and sleep on the old shed couch. If you are of the other gender you’re probably rocking some Glassons black skinny jeans with a pair of Converse, (low top or high top, the opportunities are endless). Oh, don’t forget the puffer vest as well! 


POP


Alright, since I spent around 300 words dogging the genre of country I will keep this next part a bit shorter. Pop; we all seem to hate it, but you just cannot deny the catchiness of the numerous bangers that have been released within the genre in the past few years. 


This includes Lizzo’s extremely popular song ‘Juice’ that sounds like more of a throwback to the 80’s than a 2019 pop track. 


To be honest I am finding it extremely hard to figure out what the demographic and audience of pop is in this day and age, I’m guessing it goes a little like this though. 


You wake up, straighten your hair, check if your favourite YouTube vlogging couple has a new upload (you cry a little when they don’t), then chuck on some Top 40 soul sucking bullshit to start your day with. 


Despite my soul sucking bullshit comment I can’t hate on the genre, I can although hate on the capitalist framework in which it exists but let’s not get into that. 


Pop has many offshoots, my favourite is where our favourite two New Zealanders excel within, alternative-pop. I’m talking about Lorde and of course our more recent Tik Tok superstar Benee. If you listen to this genre you are either a fourteen year old girl, a twenty four year old male (me) or literally anybody else. 


RAP


Next up is rap, a genre that I have in the past been heavily immersed in. My friends are all Soundcloud rappers, no hate though, you will get there one day boys!  


If you listen to rap - which is now one of the most popular genres in the world so I guess you can call it pop too - you probably have an obsession with sneakers, smoke weed and think you are God’s gift to the world.


If you hail from New Zealand’s capital Wellington I can guarantee you can be found in Betty’s smoking area every weekend chatting shit about how you and your crew are going to blow up soon. 


If you are from Auckland you are probably actually pretty well respected and keep putting in the work on K Road to get to where you want to be. 


Most people that are obsessed with the genre also participate in contributing to the genre. Keep making those beats bro and maybe one day you will have more than 100 followers on your social media platforms.  


HOUSE/TECHNO


Alright, time to be a tad nicer. If you listen to house and techno I can almost guarantee you take molly on a weekly basis and in pre-Covid days frequented the Laundry bar and Club 121. 


If you are based anywhere else in the country other than Auckland or Wellington then to be frank you probably don’t listen to the genre.


You also probably tell everybody in the smoking area at the club about that one time you went to Berlin and are now somewhat of a more interesting person because of it. 


~

I’m sorry for my vast generalisations and I do apologise for any offence taken to them.


I will say one thing, listen to what you want and don’t let anybody tell you are lame because of it - my favourite artist, for example, is Bruce Springsteen.