September 8, 2020
Issue 11 2020

Basic Witches - A humble review brought to you by a local Witch-about-Wellington

Catch me in the Aro Valley op shop forming psychic links with the dolls, or at Frank Kitts Park communing with the seagulls, or at Third Eye on Cuba street, shoplifting. Reviewing the places and things that will help you develop your pagan practices, revel in your arcane knowledge, and ascend to your highest self.

Event - Full moon drumming circle in Lyall Bay

3 stars

A lovely communal atmosphere, but not nearly enough blood rituals for my taste. If you're planning on attending, I recommend bringing your own sacrifice. 3 out of 5 stars, would dance naked here again.

Place - The Johnsonville mall

5 stars

Wow! What an adventure. I had barely been there 20 minutes before the portal to the underworld opened up in the Muffin Break! Convenient and cheap way of contacting any spirits you need. 5 out of 5 stars, would vacation here again.

Restaurant - The Burger Fuel in Lower Hutt

1 star

Terrible service! When I asked the cashier for extra sauce, he just laughed maniacally and his eyes rolled back in his head. When I asked again and put my 50 cents on the counter, he just began speaking in tongues and crab walked backwards into the store room. Just plain rude if you ask me. 1 out of 5 stars, would NOT eat here again.

Book - Grave Robbing: A Beginner’s Guide

2 stars

As much as I love the way this book weaves the rich history of grave robbing through its narrative, I was hoping for a much more practical and ‘hands on’ guide. Any self-respecting witch worth her weight in mugwort knows about the gruesome medical experiments and the disreputable characters: I wanted to know what kind of shovel to use! 2 out of 5 stars, would regift to a beginner.

Album - Modern Gregorian Chants vol. 1 by Melisma Corpus & the Funky Bunch

4 stars

This up-and-coming group of indie throat singers rock my world! I like to listen while doing my daily de-stress ritual of covering myself in damp earth. Listen with headphones on! 4 out of 5 stars, would dissociate from my physical form to again.