July 16, 2019
Issue 07 2019
Humour

Which Dog Breed Are You?

Chinese Crested Dog - Started receding early so decided to rock the shaved look. Always cold. Will probably ask you what the fuck you're looking at on a night out. 


Puli or Komondor - Moved to Wellington to study fine arts and thought dreadlocks would help them fit in. Always volunteers for mopping the floor in flat chore schedule. Asks if you can suss weed for them.


Pomsky - Has a popular soap-cutting ASMR Instagram account. Wants to get into event management or social media coordination. Always gets ID'd at the bar because they're small. Will literally never shut the fuck up.


Huntaway - Probably an ag student. Wears RM Williams boots with shorts. Can't wait for hunting this weekend in the Ruahines with the lads. Concerningly deep, masculine voice.


Greyhound - Represented their region in athletics back in high school. Will constantly find ways to bring that up in conversation. Opts for cardio and skips leg day at the gym. Will probably sell you their Ritalin prescription. 


Labrador - Always keen to hang out. Stacked on the fresher five in first year. 


German Shorthaired Pointer - Frothing for opening weekend. Always wants a Hunting & Fishing voucher for their birthday. Still trying to get the lads together to go clay bird shooting over semester break.