March 11, 2019
Issue 02 2020
The Unlonely Woman

The Unlonely Women

Ah, love. How great right? I mean, who better to talk about love than The Unlonely Woman…WRONG.

However, I can tell you what love isn’t. I’ve had my fair share of absolute wankers - some who I even have been tempted to name and shame on here - but I decide to be the better person and not stoop to their level. But I’m thankful for them. Because they have taught me what love isn’t. So, what isn’t love?

Love isn’t cheating on me when we thought I was pregnant. Love isn’t having an online relationship with a chick up in Auckland whilst we were together and then bitching to her about me. Love isn’t then turning it around on me, making out like I was in the wrong for catching you. Love isn’t introducing me to your friends and family but then not even wanting to get to know mine (who are fucking amazing people). Love isn’t making a bet with your friends about who could sleep with me. Love isn’t dating me for 4 months then disappearing into thin air and appearing 6 months later as if nothing’s wrong. Love isn’t calling me stupid, dumb, fat, ugly. Love is not verbal abuse. Love is not trying to force yourself on to me when I’ve clearly said no. Love isn’t treating me like shit and barely talking to me for days on end with no excuse (if you need time alone, say so you fuckhead). Love isn’t making me do everything on your terms. Love isn’t me constantly pouring my heart into our relationship to make it work, while you sit there and do absolute fuck all.

Love is not, I repeat NOT, me doing everything to make you cum and then you sit there thinking just fucking me will get me off. Love isn’t saying I’m the only one,
but then liking thousands of women’s photos on Instagram and sending them private DM’s. Love isn’t messaging multiple women whilst we are together.
Love isn’t messaging your exes telling them how beautiful they are and calling them babe. Love isn’t me constantly trying to work on our relationship when all you do is sit there and play PlayStation all day. Love isn’t telling me to hurry up an orgasm when we know it was the first time a guy had gone down on me… make your woman feel comfortable, asshole.

Love isn’t breaking it off saying you want to have time to work on yourself and then getting in a relationship with the lady you were talking to when we were together. Love is owning up to what you fuck up. Love is giving me the time of day. But more importantly, love is calling it off when you are no longer in love with me. Love is respecting me enough to not make up excuses and drag this on longer than what it needs to be just to keep me around. Love is love. It can be great but it can sure as hell be a horrible thing with the wrong person.

Falling in love with someone who doesn’t love you back is horrible. If they don’t call you it’s because they don’t want to. Even when someone’s busy, they will make fucking time. Whether that’s just sending you a morning message wishing you a great day, or saying, “Hey, I’m busy today I’ll call you tonight.”

If they don’t invite you out it’s because they don’t want to see you. If they let you go it’s because they don’t want you. If they say “I love you but now is not the right time…” they do not want you, sis and sir.

Don’t play their confusing games and don’t justify their actions in your head to make yourself feel better about the situation. You are a grown-up and sure as hell don’t need to be wasting your time with someone who doesn’t want you or deserve you. You do not need to be with someone who doesn’t know your worth. You do not need to be with someone who doesn’t know what they want.

Love is loving yourself enough to walk away from someone who doesn't deserve you. Love is out there, sis and sir, but it may take some time xx