April 29, 2019
Issue 04 2019
The Unlonely Woman

The Unlonely Woman

After last week’s column, I thought I’d better bring back the grown woman I am. So, let’s talk. Let’s be honest, I’ve met my fair share of men and boys. I refuse to call them a man if they act like a dropkick boy. So, what don’t I like or put up with? P.S. I’ve got my nails back, so feeling sassy.

I guess you could say I’m in a situation where I know my worth and I sure as hell know what I deserve. Biggest pet peeve is lies. Babes, if we dating talk to whoever you fucking want. But the moment you say you don’t want me dating others, don’t turn around and think it’s okay for you to. Don’t lie about going on tinder. Here’s a hint boo. It updates your location every time you open the app. So, if you say you’re not on tinder - I’m sorry, but bro you all shit. Don’t sit there and tell me everything you think I want to hear because I’ve heard that all before. I’ve learnt to never trust what a man says to me. Is that sad? Fuck yes, but that’s life. I get it, I’m an open and honest person but that does not mean everyone else is. Unless we are actually in a relationship, I believe nothing that you have to say.

And can someone tell me why the fuck some men think that rubbing my clit with their palm is going to make me orgasm? Or why they think dry humping me is going to make me orgasm? Or why in the fucking world they think that me sucking their dick is going to make me cum? Like, I’m sorry but this is not the case! It’s like guys think they can just shove their dick in you, thinking that a bit of fucking for 5 minutes will make you cum. The clit is there for a reason, like fucking use it. Don’t know what you’re doing? Fucking ask me - better yet, I will tell you what to do.

Next thing. Can someone explain to me why on earth men think that woman do not orgasm?? Like I’m sorry, but boy I do not get off from you cumming. The only way I get off is if I have an orgasm. Do not cum and then roll over and sleep or play poker on your phone. Because boy you can bet your fucking ass I will be tapping on that shoulder of yours asking, “what’s good.” The amount of times I have had to pull a boy up is actually disturbing. Like I’m sorry that you have grown up thinking that you cumming is the whole point of sex. But you could not be further from the truth.

If he does not get you off or at least fucking try…CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT. I cannot, I repeat cannot bear to think that my fellow sisters are going through their life without a man at least trying to make them orgasm. I know I’m never going to hear from a guy again when I call them out but atleast I know - well, I fucking pray - they will at least try with the next lady.

I’ve learnt to respect myself enough to know my worth and what I deserve. We ain’t no entrée. We ain’t a plate that someone picks at. We the main fucking dish, boo and if anyone treats you less than that tell them to fuck off. I’m so sick and tired of hearing my fellow sisters getting treated like shit and thinking it’s okay. How about you call the dude out? I know it can be scary being single, but remember this. People always ask me why I chose the name The Unlonely Woman and it’s simple. I am never alone because I have myself and that is the most important person I could ever have. Learn your worth and know you are the shit. Don’t seek validation in a man. Seek validation through yourself.

Don’t get me wrong, I know not all men are like this. I’ve met some really cool dudes through dating. But to the men that do all of these things I have listed; wake the fuck up, bruh.

I know this is super aggressive, but I got my claws back and I’ve been busting out Cardi B like no tomorrow; so The Unlonely Woman is officially back.