Warning: Sexual Content
I created The Unlonely Woman because I found that there were no platforms in New Zealand promoting women to be sex positive. Instead, I found countless places where women were being slut shamed - all because we like to have a fucking orgasm. I mean, fuck me sideways, it’s like it’s completely fine for society to talk about men cumming because that’s how babies are made. But even in sex ed, we aren’t taught about how a woman can orgasm. It’s like the sex talk is all about men cumming. So, that’s where I come in.
I created The Unlonely Woman because some people aren’t lucky enough to have friends like mine where they can openly talk about sex. I wanted women and men to read my blog/column and be like, “Shit okay, so some people do like having a finger in their bum,” or, “Okay, so feeling like you’re going to shit yourself after anal happens to other people too!”
I wanted people to be able to openly laugh at my work, at me or just simply have their day brightened with tales of my crappy dating life. I wanted people to feel like they can express themselves and not be slut-shamed. It’s about starting sex positive discussions and encouraging people to talk among their peers about sex in a positive way.
I’ve done about four drafts for this column, but nothing feels right. It’s like I’m so beyond disgusted with society that I’ve been struggling to get my feelings and thoughts all in line. Like I don’t know, I just thought we were getting to a place where being sex positive was actually being more and more accepted. But it seems like we are still being slut-shamed in 2019.
30,000+ people read my columns… that’s incredible. I’ve been told countless times by men and women alike how much they love my columns. I have random people message me saying they only read Massive magazine for my column. This is crazy to me. I’ve been doing this for over a year now and absolutely love what I do. But with anything in life we will sometimes come across people who completely disagree with what we do.
I’ve been accused of promoting rape culture. As someone who has actually been sexually assaulted more than once, this actually disgusts me. Slut-shaming contributes to rape culture because you are actually adding to the ‘she was asking for it’ excuse. When a strong, independent woman opens up about being sex positive and you ask her how many STDs she’s had, all because she has sex? You are in fact slut-shaming her. You are in fact promoting rape culture.
You’ll probably be sitting there saying I deserved to be sexually abused because I must have been wearing something ‘slutty’ or I must have been ‘asking’ for it. I could have been completely naked and still not be ‘asking’ for it. I could have been grinding on a dude in the club and still not be ‘asking’ for it. Let’s get this straight, because I’m not going to put up with bullying or slut-shaming on any level. Being sex positive does not in any way promote rape culture. But you slut-shaming me and asking how many STD’s I must have does. Stop boo, because I ain’t about to stand for that. Oh, also no STD’s here sis! But if you didn’t know, you can pay $5 at Massey to see a nurse and get a check yoself.
I get it. Some people still think that women shouldn’t talk openly about sex. Some people think that it’s not okay for women to have sex with more than one person. That’s your opinion. You are entitled to that. But don’t put down another woman. I would never, and I mean never put down another woman. I could have put you down, bullied you and just torn you to shreds. But I do not and will not ever snoop to someone else’s level. I’m here to educate. You don’t like me? Cool, hate me boo… I really don’t care. Angry that I showed you slut-shaming me actually means you are promoting rape culture? Do your research boo, because I did. Words are such powerful things, so make sure you use them wisely. Don’t just say things trying to sass this queen out. It will not work.
I have always said that my life’s purpose is to inspire at least one person to be themselves. Let me tell you this, I’ve been told more times than I can remember that I inspired someone. So, I’ve done it. And I will keep doing it because I will not have my fellow sisters and sirs thinking they can’t do something. And I will not have anyone else think it’s okay to say I’m the protégé of the professor who sexually assaulted an elderly. That disgusts me.
So, is The Unlonely Woman going to retire? FUCK NO! Why? because I clearly need to keep doing what I’m doing. Instead of taking the time out of your life to slut-shame me or accuse me of promoting rape culture you should take a look at your own life and think about what you can be doing to make a positive impact on the world. Because I sure as hell know I am. Like, focus on your study boo, or creating a better future for yourself and the world around you. If you don’t like what I write about, then don’t read it boo! Or do, because you are just adding to the views so I’m not too fazed either way. If you haven’t realised by now I will not stand for shit. I will not stand for slut-shaming or saying I promote rape culture. Like, don’t fuck with me. I will sure as hell stand up for anyone’s rights (all genders). Wishing you all an orgasmed filled or unorgasmed life… depending on what you like.
On that note there’s free condoms all around Massey campuses, so wrap that willy and don’t be silly because The Unlonely Woman did not raise you that way. As long as you are safe, happy and not hurting anyone then do whatever the fuck you want sis.