September 10, 2018
Issue 10 2018
The New News

The New News - Health and Wellbeing

An expanding awareness of health and well-being seems to be more and more prevalent as the world becomes increasingly obsessed with body image. There are gyms on every street corner and people posting workout routines and healthy eating habits dominate most forms of social media. The New News encourages aspects of health and well-being. For instance, one of the team members at The New News always brings a salad to work—they certainly wouldn't do that if we promoted unhealthiness and not-well-being. This week we will be reviewing some of the latest health trends, as well as exploring the well-being scene — how fun-tastic.

Medicinal marijuana, a glass of red wine before bed, psychotropic drugs — sounds like one hell of a night. For real, though, these crop up all over the internet whether you search for it or not. There seems to be so much contradictory research surrounding these topics that it is hard to know what to believe. Below, we compiled some conclusions drawn from hundreds of hours of research:

Medical Marijuana is often prescribed to reduce nausea and ease chronic pain — sounds like something a healthy dose of Panadol and Sealegs could do just as well... Do we really want to be injecting dangerous marijuanas into people?

Wine is just a fruit juice variant — 5 plus a day, right?  

Xanax is one of the most frequently prescribed anti-depressant psychotropic drugs. It is also often misused. Xanax gained a reputation on the street for being a cool drug to take on a night out. I bet most people don't realise that the drug is actually harmful when taken incorrectly—like Ritalin, or Preparation H. Of course, Xanax is not to be confused with Lil Xan—a rapper/singer from California. Summary: Psychotropic drugs seem to cover up problems—not solve them. Also, they are low-key scary.  

Moving on. Let's talk diet. Replace Coke with Diet Coke. Replace sugar with Equal. Replace Mud Cake with Gluten-Free Mud Cake — it's simple! Let us take a look at Instagram — social media's equivalent of Jenny Craig — and see what we can learn. Matcha powder, soy milk, ab crunches, planks, bulking, shredding, blah, blah, blah... Where would one start? Well, you have heard the terms, now let us speak with the experts and connect the dots. The New News interviewed one of those guys at the gym who constantly comments on your form yet remains at the same mediocre size and tone consistently. He said, "you know, it's all about balance. I have been bulking since about six years old. Now that I am 22, I am ready to start cutting — curls actually work better if you move your arm like this — but yeah. I am pretty much in peak physical form. I gym about 13 times a week. Today is arms, fingers, calves and toes, so I'll be feeling it tonight, amirite?" After that he punched our reporter playfully in the arm and took a huge swig of his protein powder concoction which was described as "equal parts creatine, BCAA's, fat burner and pre-workout—for that ultimate f*** me up”. He smelled weird.

The New News was also lucky enough to land an interview with a local celebrity—a woman who runs an inspirational/fitness Instagram with over 2000 followers. We caught up with her to talk more about routine and well-being. "Well-being is a state of mind," she said, "it's about yin and yang, the balance of harmony and discord". We asked her about specific routines and things one can do to maintain healthy habits and live positively. She said, "I do yoga. I run. I like to knit, as well. You just have to find something that makes you feel good, d'you know whatta mean?" Amazed by the knowledge she had on the subject, we asked her about influencing factors. "Well, nature is probably up there—I love the trees and the little puppies and stuff... Kylie Jenner is pretty amazing. God... he taught a lot, as well.” Following the interview, we couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with self-love and care. Fitness and well-being is completely about mind over matter, it seems.

The New News is here to educate and provide comfort for those in contact with various afflictions. We want the best for our readers, so take refuge in the knowledge that we have gained looking into the daunting world of medicine. The world can be tough and unrelenting, but so was Alexander Fleming, the man who invented penicillin. Thanks to people like him and WebMD, we can rest assured knowing that we are safe, and well.