June 27, 2019
Negative Nancy

Negative Nancy

Look. We never thought the day would come. We suffered through the months of sweltering humidity, stuffy rooms, mosquito bites and third-degree burn inducing car seats. We stifled complaints when sand stuck to every crevasse, and our skin was ripped to shreds from chafing.


But now, after many excruciating months, the best time of year has arrived.


We have made it to the most joyful of seasons, where every evening is spent either desperately clinging to a hot water bottle or downing the seventh cup of tea. The time of year when it’s dark when you wake up in the morning and is dark again before dinner. The time where you spend more money on Vitamin C than food each week in the hopes of fending off the bug going around, and the time where you bleach your window sills several times a week to kill that cursed mould, only for it to creep back immediately. For these few months, your clothes are coated in a permanent dampness, unless you’re one of the few whose home is insulated.


It is these wondrous few months where you spend most evenings at your desk writing overdue assignments, wearing three jumpers and a duvet. Don’t forget every weekend that you witness the brave (stupid) first years going to town without any sleeves, and you must resist the urge to hurl a blanket at them.


Yes, these are the months of true joy, and in no way am I complaining about any of these things, because they come with so many other delights.


These months make it socially acceptable to wear your pajamas in public, so long as you have a few more layers on top, and your footwear is anything except Ugg boots. It is this time of year that those of us who enjoy indoor activities really thrive. You can spend your days doing puzzles, or cross stitch, or knitting, or making collages. The crafting options are endless, and while you’re at it, you can catch up on your favourite TV show without feeling like a pasty troll who hasn’t seen the sun in years. But if you’re feeling adventurous, there are still plenty of options! You don’t have to remember a sunhat to have unfathomable amounts of fun stamping the remaining life out of crunchy leaves, or kicking puddle water at friends (or strangers, if you don’t have friends). And after all that fun, you won’t come home with a sunburnt nose – just a sodden rain jacket that won’t dry off till spring!


So, whilst you’re all off whimpering about the flu and posting utterly mundane summer pictures on the gram, I’ll be inside, sipping on a perfectly concocted lemon honey, re-watching Gilmore Girls for the third time. And on the odd occasion that I’m feeling sociable, you’ll find me at a myriad of cosy mid-winter Christmas gatherings, wearing a pair of on-theme socks selected from my extensive collection. This is truly the most superior time of year, folks.


This strong love for winter has almost made me consider the possibility of becoming Positive Penny, but that doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, so I’ll catch you in a fortnight with a well-needed dose of negativity. It’ll be sure to cure your ghastly winter cold.