July 16, 2019
Issue 07 2019

Horsed - The Wellingtonian

If you’re operating on three brain cells and one nostril this flu season, this is the best way to put yourself out of your misery.

You will need: 

1 teaspoon of cheap instant coffee

1 shot of Kahlua or Tia Maria 

1 Club Red (can be swapped out for vape pod of choice)


  • Boil the jug and gaze out the slightly moulded window of your overpriced flat as it boils.
  • Add one teaspoon of instant coffee and a shot of liqueur to the nearest unwashed mug.
  • Fill the mug to the brim with boiling water. Add a few drops of cold water if you don’t have any germs you need to scald out of your throat. 
  • Light your cigarette (or activate the button of your vaping device).
  • Enjoy the dissociating rush of nicotine, alcohol and caffeine in the fresh air.