September 22, 2019
Issue 11 2019

Horrorscopes: Where Should You Travel To?


Always ready to go at the drop of a hat, set your alarms for the midnight sale on grab a seat, and ignore all your responsibilities. The last part of the semester is always a struggle, you don’t need that in your life. 


Classic Taurus hottie Noah Centineo wants to take YOU on a hike! Get amongst nature and explore some of the trails and parks around your city. By tuning into nature, you are better able to tune into those around you. 

Swipe Right on the sexy foreigner you’ve been eyeing up and have a mini getaway. Terms of endearment are all the more sexy when whispered in an accent, and you’ve always been a cunning linguist. You can travel right from your bed!


When Lana del Rey revealed she was actually a Cancer, we were all shook. But take her advice and get High by the Beach. The water may be cold, but sometimes a trip to the sea is exactly what your empathic soul needs. 


Why travel the world when the world revolves around you? It’s time to be even more self involved as the semester nearly ends. No one understands how hard it is to be this charming all the time anyway. 


Stack the itinerary because you do not travel without a plan. Be sure to get to the airport 2 hours before your flight and let everyone know what they are doing for every minute of the trip. We are here to have organized, regimented fun!


With Sun in Libra, you make sure to balance all your earthly pleasures. Buy that Koru Lounge membership because you deserve it, and after a while it practically pays for itself right? Use your course related costs, that’s what it’s for. 


There are many stamps in your passport, and sometimes even you don’t know how they got there. If you do go travelling be sure to hide your drugs internally as your slightly menacing vibe can alert airport security. 


You’re always ready to go out, you bring the party with you wherever you go. Be sure to hit up a Full Moon party in Thailand for a once in a lifetime buzz or even take a trip to one of the outer suburbs to find your tribe. 


There’s no such thing as a holiday for a Capricorn. Why would you waste valuable time when you could be striving towards a greater project? It’s time to buckle into the wild ride that is the last couple of weeks uni. 


Travel the Astral Plane, and transcend the monotony of uni. You are much more at home in another dimension. When you come back down from Astral Projecting, be sure to check out the options for a student exchange. 


This Pisces Moon has you all kinds of fucked up. Don’t travel anywhere. Don’t leave your bed. Skip your lectures and avoid the world. Make a blanket fort and stay in there to ride this one out.