July 29, 2019
Issue 08 2019

Horrorscopes: Body


Take charge of your group project. You know what's going on, even if no one else does - do not be afraid to be disliked. 


It's winter, which means it's time to get your snug on. Layer up and leave them hanging with just a scandalous display of ankle or wrist. 


Your reputation for being two faced comes back to haunt you. Don't start drama in the group chat over nothing. You're better than that.


Embrace your mood swings and desire to be crabby. Those who love you will see you through good times and bad, no matter what.


There is nothing more powerful than a Leo during their season. The Lion does not concern itself with the opinion of the sheep.


Despite your uptight nature it will do you good to show some skin. Vitamin D can only be absorbed through the skin.


A connection made at work may run deeper than you think. Nurture it and it may blossom into something more and let Venus flourish. 


Make sure you get checked for STIs at your next doctors visit. You never know what could have made its way into that shell.


The break is over, so it’s time to knuckle down. Sign up to some new clubs and make this Semester your bitch. 


A new Semester is like Christmas. I bet you bought new post it notes especially! Be sure to expose your skin to sunshine at least once. 


Moon in Aquarius this month means it's time to get in touch with your inner self. Who are you really and is it all a facade? 


Your scandalous forearm is your best feature, be sure to wear extra tight t shirts even in Winter to spite the haters.