July 16, 2019
Issue 07 2019

Horrorscopes: Animals

Animal Horoscopes


As much as you WANT that doggy in the window, take time to consider. You have a habit of making rash decisions and dealing with the consequences later.


Grab the bull by the horns and buckle down. Your power of resolve can be your worst enemy, but if you use it for good, plough forward. 


As your Season closes, take time to go outside and connect back to the air. Listen for native birdsong in the morning and smell the flowers.  


Water babies! It’s your time to shine. Cancer season brings up all emotions amongst you and your four-legged friends. Don’t forget to check in on them. 


Venus enters Leo lighting up your desire for romance and intimacy! Channel that passion and maybe try working doggy style into your repertoire.  


Confront your fear of dirt with a visit to Staglands. Seeing those animals go with the flow may give you some much-needed perspective.


Use your natural diplomacy for good and try and bridge the divide between cats and dogs! There’s plenty of love to go around.


We know you’re too original to have a #basic breed. But don’t import anything too exotic! DOC will not be understanding.  


Did you FEEL that Full Moon in Sagittarius last month? Are you still dealing with the emotional hangover? Bury yourself in work for a change.  


The Full Moon in Capricorn on July 17th will have you wanting to give in to your most wild animalistic desires. 


Alien Aquarians! Did you know you buy an axolotl from the pet store? That is just the creature to complete your air of mystique and flakiness. 


There’s nothing fishy here; forget the rules and pursue that romance you’ve been pining for. Swim upstream against the current like a salmon.