March 25, 2019
Issue 03 2019
Blind Date

Blind Date

He said:

It was a fine Thursday evening, ready to attack my first blind date. With mixed expectations I walked into the restaurant and hoped to be pleasantly surprised. The smirking waitress escorted me through the restaurant but approached an empty table. Ah well, the first one here meant only one thing and I tucked into the bar tab with pace.

Once my date arrived, the initial thoughts were good as we hugged and exchanged names. I then quickly found myself glaring at her upper lip - a bull nose ring hanging in the night. Might be a kinky lass? I thought as we dived into appetizers. This could get interesting.

Have to say the food was delish and chat was flowing. She described her flatting situation and being in a shared room (for the last three years?) which was a slight red flag. I wasn't really into that and it likely discouraged any opportunity of going back to her place.

Following dinner, we decided to head into the outdoor area with sangria and things started to get weird. A weird looking ukulele duo was providing the tunes which appeared to be some sort of quiz? Odd. Then, out of the corner of my eye I see my boss’s wife sitting up on the benches - with another guy! Have I just caught her in the act? She sheepishly said hello as we continued on with our respective dates.

After the small talk had dried up we got straight to it with a kiss under the stars, then headed our separate ways. Unsure if I’ll be taming the bull anytime soon! Thanks Massive for the experience!


She said:

I say a lot of stupid things when I'm drunk. But what I said on February 10th 2019 has got to be one of the worst. One ginger Scrumpy deep and my drunk alter ego decides to make a vow: If I don’t go on my first EVER date by April, I'll have to eat my own shit.

Since then, it’s a vow my flatmates have not let me forget and it's what brought me to dinner with a stranger at Southern Cross. That’s right folks, that’s the reason why I decided to do this blind date. I'm 23, I'd never been on a date before this and I didn’t want to consume poop.

As far as first dates go (not that I have much experience in the area), I'd say this one was pretty lovely. We shared a garlic bread to start (rookie choice on my part) and some delish choccie cake, accompanied by the most rock-hard ice cream I've ever encountered.

And we also shared a cheeky kiss.

I thought I would be paired with a creepy guy wearing a fedora and nothing else, so I was pleasantly surprised by my date. The most memorable part of the night was when my date, in true millennial style, asked if we could exchange our Snapchat information. Huh? Quite an odd choice of communication I thought. Getting my LinkedIn details would have felt less weird. We did end up adding each other on the Snap though. Haven't woken up to an unsolicited dick pic from him yet... maybe this is true love?

One thing I'm absolutely sure of: no more ginger Scrumpy for me, or at least no more drunken rants that end with me vowing to eat shit.